Highlights
Family Issues: One- and - Two-Child Families - Article 3 of 9
Source: "Caring For Your Baby & Young Child...Birth To Age 5"
by Steven Shelov and Robert Hannemann, pp. 580-582.
Posted: July 1, 2008
Most newly married couples today plan to have only one or two children, compared with three or more
back in the early 1960s. The reasons for this shift include a trend toard later marriage, more emphasis
on careers for women, more efective methods of contraception, and the rising cost of rearing and educating children.
There are some very clear benefits to having a small family:
- Each child receives more parental attention and educaitonal advantages, which generally raise her self-esteem.
- Children in small families, especially first and only children, tend to have higher school and personal achievement levels than do children of larger families.
- The finanicial cost of maintaining a household are lower.
- It is easier for both parents to combine careers with family life.
- The general stress level is lower because there often are fewer conflicts and less rivalry.
There are also some trade-off, especially in one-child families. When all the expectations, hopes, and fears
are focused on just one child, parents easily can become overprotective and indulgent without even realizing it.
The child may have fewer opportunities to meet other children or to develop a sense of independence. She may be
pushed to overachieve, and she may receive so much doting attention that she becomes self-centered and undisciplined.
If you have just one or two children, you may become overprotective and overattentive. This may make your child
reluctant to be separated from you, hindering the development of new relationships with peers. In fact, you may have
that same difficulty. Here are tips to help you keep these feelings in the proper perspective as your child matures:
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Make sure your expectations of your child are realistic for her age. Get to know other families with children
the same age, and watch how these parents raise their children: when they're protective, and when they let go;
how they discipline the children; how much responsibility they expect of them.
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Maintain your own adult social life as a couple (or as an individual, if you are a single parent). Taking a
few hours off from each other will help both you and your child develop your individual identities. The earlier
you start this pattern of personal time (at least once a week, even durind infancy), the easier it will be for you
both to accept the increasing definition of personality that needs to occur as she grows older.
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Let your child get to know other trusted grown-ups by having them babysit, and by including the child in group
activities with other families.
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Give her plenty of opportunities to play with other children her age through play groups, nursery schools, or
other children's groups.
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If you are worried about your child's health or development, get advice from your pediatrician as sonn as
possible. Don't let your anxieties build, and don't limit your child with unnecessary concern.
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